It’s your own fault

So I finally got a name to the pain and fatigue that has consumed my life. Fibromyalgia. Since my rheumatologist didn’t offer much advice I resorted to internet searching. After endless hours and endless days searching I’ve came to the conclusion this is a disease that people don’t really know much about.

Some say it’s caused by a traumatic event like a car accident. Some believe it could be brought on by stress…. diet…. weight….lifestyle….maybe?

I drank alcohol. I smoked. I was overweight. I had an unhealthy diet. My doc said all those things contributed to it. It could be a big factor as to why I developed fibromyalgia.

Thinking back, I remember pain, I remember exhaustion, as a child. Horrible leg cramps. I would cry out at night and my parents would have to come and rub my legs. “Growing pains” the doctor said. Going to bed at 7pm and waking up at noon the next day just to eat and go back to sleep. Falling asleep in class. “Some kids need more sleep” the doctor said. Horrible migraines, IBS, joint pains. “She might just be doing it for attention or to get out of school” the doctor said.

It got to the point my parents would dismiss my complaints and tell me to quit whining or stop being so lazy, it’s all in your head.

So I stopped. I stopped complaining. I stopped sleeping when I was tired.

As a teen I turned to drinking and smoking pot. It help with the pain, it helped me forget I wasn’t normal, it gave me a little peace for a little while.

So thinking back, it was fibromyalgia. I don’t remember an traumatic events happening as a child. I didn’t drink alchohol as a kid. I didn’t smoke as a kid. I wasn’t an overweight kid.

So where did my fibromyalgia come from?

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